Thesecretsideofmmc's Blog

disjointed thoughts

thesecretsideofmmc — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 20:35:24 +0000

Why would I be obessesing over you after all these years and while I am so in love with my husband. It is the strangest damn thing. I know without a doubt that you and I would never be able to maintain a relationship… no way in the world. I know how you have changed physically and still I find myself comforted, excited, and jazzed with the familarity that only the history and years we share can bring.

Such is my crazy life. I hope I never catch up with myself… the results could be disasterous.

discord

thesecretsideofmmc — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:47:48 +0000

tears burning behind the smile

with a tightness in my chest, a rip in my soul

all i want is a moment to forget

a life of non-existance devoid of interesting

what have i become

in my quest to find my place i feel so lost

a moment of restless, a minute of discord

what will become of this life i built

do i own a heart capable of eternal love

do i have a soul for God to even save

a moment of doubt, the restless burning begins

where do i go from here, can i just stand still and wait it out

where do i find a love stronger than my self destruction

a healer of the broken

looking closer and my life feels like a lie

a masturbation story

thesecretsideofmmc — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:14:54 +0000

I like to take really hot showers and get out with my skin still all pink heated. I go in my room and lay across my bed on my back and feel the fan blowing cool air against my moist skin. I feel the goose bumps start to form as the water dries. It is my favorite time to masturbate. I lay there exploring my breasts with my hands, gently pulling at my nipples until they are both rock hard and then pinching them just until they hurt. That spark of pain loosens the juices and I feel my pussy moisten and start to tingle. Spreading my legs to let the cool air from the fan meet the wet heat from between my thighs, I feel a sigh escape my lips as my hands begin to reach for the soft folds of flesh. As my fingers pull my pussy lips apart and begin a slow exploration of the wetness within I am thrilled with how wet, how heated I can make myself. I close my eyes and feel the tension begin to build as my fingers find the familiar tender places and begin to tickle and tease, spreading the wetness around and slipping into the heated depths. Behind my eyes runs a porn quality fantasy of my best friend and that crazy druken night we spent licking each other from head to toe in college. I can smell her hair and taste the sweet liquor flavored kisses of her mouth. I feel her nails run down my belly and it’s her hands making me moan. I see her tits in my face as she leans over me up on all fours inviting the dark stranger we picked up in the bar to have his way with her. I hear him moan and feel his body shudder as he buries his cock in her and begins to pound her from behind. her titties bounce in my face, he has a handful of her hair pulling her head back as the extacy escapes her lips on a sigh. I reach with my mouth and pull her nipple with my teeth, suckling on it – feeling it harden. A tear escapes her as I bite hard enough to hurt. The man encourages me as the pain made her wetter. Using my fingers I pull on the other nipple until she cries out. After another forceful pinch, I use my mouth to gently lick the nipples – holding her big beautiful breasts in my hands and she sighs with the softness that followed the pain. I hear him spank her and she cries out again. He uses the paddle we bought and spanks her other cheek. She moans, she giggles and she loses her next words into my kiss. The man continues to spank her until both her cheeks are pink and warm to the touch. gently he uses his hands to softly rub the same area he just used the paddle on. Pulling out of her, he brings his mouth to her ass and uses his tongue to apply soft kisses to the pain, pulling her ass up to his face he buries his face in her pussy and licks her until she cums. He has the small cat of ninetails whip in his hands and her eyes have gone big at the site of it. I feel my pussy tingle in anticiaption of the leather meeting the soft lips of her pussy. I watch as he spanks the soft feminine folds and see her eyes close with pleasure of it. He whips her pussy several times, softly licking her between each slap. Hearing her alternate cries from the pain and soft sighs from the pleasure of his mouth it is all I can do not to cum on the spot. Finally he turns her back over and pulls her ass towards him, she begs him to be gentle. He isn’t. He slams his huge, hard cock deep inside her swollen pussy sending tears down her face as a scream escapes her lips. He pushes her head into my pussy and she obediantly begins to feed on me. She is very good at it. Loves the taste of me on her tongue and soon he falls into a rthym from behind and between her moans she licks my swollen clit, alternating between a soft teasing lick and forceful one until I think there is no way I can stand it. She reaches back and finds my favorite dildo – 10 inches long and fat around. She looks devilishly at me and without a word shoves the entire 10″ in and begins to fuck me with the dildo. I can still feel her toung on my clit and the rythm of penetration is set by the stranger as he buries himself in her, banging hard from behind. I feel the climax building as she is screaming both our names and the dildo that has replaced her fingers slams into my pussy – arching my back, feeling her hair on my belly and thier moans, sounds of extacy in my ears feeling the fat dildo fill my pussy as the juices flow out of me, I feel myself cum, shuddering, shaking every muscle in my body tensed and the climax releases me and I cry out. Slowly I continue to carress the swollen clit and lips as my fantasy begins to shut down and reality floats back on the soft billow of the fan blowing on me. Smiling I bring my fingers to my lips and lick each one, tasting pussy….

worn down

thesecretsideofmmc — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:36:46 +0000

he’s not coming. no contact for three days and then a short text about expenses exceeding income and budget – can’t make it home. better this way? to never know? the worst part is i feel like he’s gone. like all the fire and heat of the last few days never exisited… confusing as hell – maybe it is better this way. i think i like him better in my fantasies anyway.

blegh…

thesecretsideofmmc — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:16:11 +0000

left hanging with the threat of tears

anxiety in my heart, deflation in my soul

hot and cold – want and need mixed in a heady potion of chaos

i swore that i wouldn’t fall – it was just in fun

so now why the ache and emptiness in my smile

day two

thesecretsideofmmc — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:20:30 +0000

what the hell??? two days – no contact. maybe he is the crazy one. wont’ answer my texts – hasn’t been online. hiding? what the fuck? one minute he’s talking like he’s crazy in love, on fire from wanting me so bad – wanting to know if maybe there is something there – to this… nothing for two days. fucker. better this way anyway. i hate drama – don’t i? i say i do but seems like it is always finding me.

maybe he will just show up here… who knows.

speaking lyrics

thesecretsideofmmc — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:53:13 +0000

All I want to do is see you again
Is that too much to ask for

I’ll try not to hold you
I’ll try not to kiss you
And I won’t even touch you

I treasure the way we used to laugh and play

You can keep me at a distance if you don’t trust my resistance
But I swear I won’t touch you

And if I’m reluctant you can pull me in
We can relive our youth

Though I think I still love you

yep crazy as hell

thesecretsideofmmc — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:26:44 +0000

so halo has been offline all day – and i find myself missing him. just to see that he is online is sort of like being in the room with him. if i really wanted to, i could just pop up the chat box and say hi – kind of the equivilant of just walking over to him and saying hi.

i am crazy – crazy as hell and confused to boot. i want to see him. i want him to come next week. i want to kiss him, i want to touch and be touched. i want to fuck him. i just don’t know about everything that would be in the fall out of that.

i tried to spark the fire last night with my man. he walked over to the bed with nothing on to get under the covers and i was on the bed on my belly and with my head lifted up at the edge of the bed, his cock right even with my mouth. so i nipped a little at his legs, licked the tip, ran my hands up and down the back of his legs. he just kinda pushed me away and laughed – said it tickled. so i moved away and let him get in bed, but my ego was bruised. then he proceeded to do the same thing he does everytime we have sex – rubbing my back and bottom and we eventually did get to it, but it was just too same ol’ same ol’. i need something else.

i want to be exciting and excited. wanted and wanting. touched. kissed. drowned in desire.

i mean really, is it too much to ask????

only a moment

thesecretsideofmmc — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 01:02:55 +0000

it’s only a moment
it’s only a breath
it’s only a chance encounter to shake me to my depths

i saw the look, your soul in your eyes
standing in the shadow, looking for the light

i felt your sadness, your desires untold
until the moment your life became a part of my soul

i kissed your lips, i kissed your eyes
at the saddest moment, i said good-bye

lost in our moment
lost in your touch
lost in sadness, never enough

forever etched on my heart
forever loved in my mind
forever waiting after this moment in time

it’s the only moment
it’s the only touch
it’s the only chance we may ever know

sometimes it is just torture to be me

thesecretsideofmmc — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:01:02 +0000

fuck – it’s killing me. it’s like i want to be single with the saftey and security of being married. i am a crazy person. i really think that might be it.